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From: martyrdomvids@johnson.com
To: disproportionate.response@gmail.com

Keen to resist Israel’s occupation of Israel?

Want to strike back at the women and children of imperialist crusaders?

BUT:

Being held back by the abysmal quality of most martyrdom videos?

Appalled by grainy footage, shabby costumes, same-old AK47s and uninspired directorial vision, but think there is no alternative?

THERE IS!

YOU need to call Johnson Studios!

Here at Johnson Studios, we think YOU deserve the best.

That’s why we work with YOU to develop the martyrdom video that is right for YOU. We help YOU find your own unique voice, then take care of the rest, so YOU can get the MOST out of your martyrdom experience.

And why:

Our camera crews are second to none; our special effects department puts most Hollywood studios to shame; and, if you thought background banners had to be dull, you have never been to Johnson Studios!

Best of all, costume-wise, our mind-boggling range of military fatigues and weapons will have you thinking you’re already in paradise!

Whatever happened to the herbal Viagra?